Artemis

I emailed my sister today and she said I should post it to my blog. So here it is: "I went on a diet today... a sugar diet. I went CRAZY. Honestly, almost all I have had to eat today is sugar. Candy for breakfast, cookies for lunch, cookies for a snack. SOMEBODY STOP ME!!! I am shaky from all the sugar. I don't know what my deal is...well, I know what my deal is, but I need to stop. I did the math, I can only be sad for a week and a half according to Sex and the City. But I don't want to be sad that long, so by the time I come home, it will be done. All done. I am not sure there was much spark on my end either. I know that sounds like a hindsight comment. But even after the first kiss, I wasn't feeling all giddy like I should have. I chocked it up to my anxiety, but I don't think it was. I need to learn when my gut is telling me how I feel and when it is anxiety. I will have to talk to my counselor about that the next time."

I made the decision a couple months ago to put myself out there. I joined a free dating website. I started the conversations with guys I was interested in. I asked the guys out that I was getting along with. I went on 3 dates with one guy and talked to him almost everyday for a month. It was going great. I really liked him, he seemed to like me. I was happy. And he really did like me... as a friend. Here's the thing, he expressed interest in going out more than once, he kissed me. He told me that he was trying really hard to feel the spark because I was so nice and sweet and he wanted to feel it. He said that he really enjoys hanging out with me because we get along so well and he thinks we could be good friends. So cliche... except I really think he means it all. Every feeling pointed to him enjoying my company. And I think I will be friends with him because I get along with him so well. In time. I was pretty upset, crying a lot. I finally calmed down enough, so I told my parents.