Wasted life?

I was trying to figure out when I started wasting my life. I think it started after being a live-in nanny. I was great at following my dreams before then. I did everything I wanted to do. I graduated from college, went to photography school, moved out east to be a nanny. After, I feel it started going down the tubes. I loved living in MSP with my sister and I had what I will call one of my "great loves" (ala Charlotte on Sex in the City). I moved to MT like I always wanted. Those things weren't wasted. But I stopped following my "dreams" after nannying.

Someone from my past lost his life. And that made me start to contemplate all that I wish I would have done, what I will do differently and what I will do in the future. I don't want to waste my life anymore. I'm working at a job that I like sometimes, but has no room for growth and lacks the qualities I really love. I don't have the education I really want to have. I'm still single, too scared to love after a broken heart. I'm still childless due to the lack of love life, and that's my biggest dream of all.

So, some changes are in store. I've decided to go back to school to get my teaching certificate for K-8 and work on my Masters all in one shot. It will be online and will be a challenge, but in approximately 3 years, I will be done and will be a teacher. What I should have been doing all along. I will have to find a new job that I may not like a whole lot, but one that is less stressful with more money to help me through the school years. And I've decided not to sit on my ass and wait for love to find me. I'm going to be an active participant in my love life, so I am going to start dating again.

I know that 28 (in about a month) is still young, but too old to not be living. You only live once. Regrets are forever and I don't want to have anymore. I want to look back at my life feeling like I lived it to the fullest, followed my heart and dreams and didn't sit back and watch it go by. Make sure you do the same.

"Dance like no one is watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like no one is listening."

Comments

BDoc said…
Ahh CDoc, this is a beautiful post. Carpe diem. Travis would have wanted us to do just this. He would be kicking your ass right now for not Living with a capital L.
2/02/2009 9:16 AM
teacherwoman said…
Great post. And, you're going back to school? How awesome is that! You will make a great teacher!
2/04/2009 7:26 PM
Girl of Approval said…
I will be sending you positive thoughts on you getting through school. I know what a challenge it can be. But girl, sometimes you do need a break from living so hard, which is maybe what you were doing.

You have to have energy left to tackle the big dreams, like teaching and love. :o)

So, year LIVE, but know that sometimes it's okay to just BE.
3/05/2009 6:39 PM
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