I am strong

My physical ailments and anxiety issues give me reminders all the time of my strength. That was enough of a reminder though, I didn't need more things to prove it to me. Yet, a break-up was added to the mix. And once again, I am surprised by my strength in this too. I don't know sometimes if I want to be this strong. Sometimes I just want to break down and cry and throw a fit and be immature. I want to act like a 5 year old and stomp my feet. I act like the adult at work with superiors that act like children, even through a pain filled day. I act like an adult when I see his sad face and know that he is hurting too. I act like an adult when I feel a panic attack coming on, so I go hide in an office and let it pass so no one else has to figure out how to deal with me through this. A temper tantrum just seems so nice sometimes. If only children knew how hard it was to be an adult sometimes, we would never wish for it. Yet, I will stay strong. Because that's who I am. I don't know another way to be. And I guess that is okay too. 

Comments

mdoc said…
Sometimes a temper tantrum is good. Your dad has them all the time and look how old he is. You are one of the strongest people I know.
Love you!


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