I (part 2)

"I am who I am."

This has become my mantra. I'm not sure when or how it started. At first, it was what I would force myself to say whenever I looked at myself in the mirror and thought down on myself, like "My pimples are terrible; my hair is so frizzy; I look fat." I always had this thought that people would think less of me or wouldn't like me because of these things and other things, like not having enough confidence in my photography, or not exercising in the right way, etc. By saying this, it was my way of saying that this is the person I am, my pimples, size, whatever, they don't define me and if people have a problem with it, too bad.

It went from something I forced myself to say to something that became an automatic response to my negative thoughts. It's no longer what I was trying to be, it became who I am. By learning to be this person, it brought more confidence. Some people may not be able to see beyond my imperfect looks, some people may not like every photograph that I take. But that's okay, because I finally love me. It took a long time to think that, but I do. I feel like I'm finally coming into my own. I have a confidence that I never had before, which makes me feel okay with my looks and makes me want to tackle a career in photography. Because the bottom line is, I am good enough, I am pretty enough... I am who I am.