The Big 2-5

That's right, tomorrow is my birthday. I can't believe I will be 25 already, I don't feel that old. Not that 25 is old, my sisters are 6 and 8 years older than me and I don't consider them old at all. But my whole life I have been treated like the baby (probably because I am the baby of the family) and being 25 suddenly makes me feel like I need to act like an adult. I am not too excited about this birthday, and not because of the age. It is my first birthday away from friends or family. I always had someone there that I loved to celebrate with me and now it is just me. Don't get me wrong, the family I work for is trying to make it special for me, but it just isn't the same. We celebrated my birthday tonight because the father is leaving to go out of town tomorrow. They bought me a cake, and not a last minute deal either, the father had to drive 30 minutes out of his way on the way home from work to pick up a cake that they had made for me with a picture of the girls (S and S2) and Happy Birthday with my name. It was really nice of them, but S made it all about her, it wasn't the cake she wanted, she wanted to put on the candles NOW, she wanted to eat the cake NOW, she had to have the piece she wanted. All with her whiny, bratty voice, so it didn't feel like it was about me at all, except for them singing to me (which of course could only be done when S counted to 3). And I am not much of a store bought cake kind of person, I am more of a bake your cake from a box kind of girl. It's not that I don't like the store bought kind, I do, but growing up my mom and I usually made my cake together (and it was often watergate cake, mmm). And that is probably what it is about, about the time we spent together making it. I know I am being negative about it all, but being lonely and stressed 24/7 and not being able to sleep for weeks makes me bitter. But bitterness and all, I appreciate everyone's gifts and love on my birthday. I will try my best to enjoy my day tomorrow, I will treat myself to something and try to relax as much as I can while working 12.5 hours. I at least saved all the gifts and cards to open tomorrow, at least then it will feel like my day even without the ones I love by my side physically, but they will be in my heart.

Comments

Anonymous said…
We really are with you!Not physically, but in every other way. I hope you enjoy your birthday. Look at it this way, next year you will be with family. I hope you have a wonderful day. Remember! This is your day.
Love MDoc
3/08/2006 6:49 AM
Anonymous said…
I'm there too in spirit. I will call probably 500 times today and inundate your phone with message - then you'll get so annoyed with me that you won't want me there anyway ;-) But unfortunately the gift I got you won't be there. It's in the mail though ;-) It wouldn't be the same if I got it there on time!!! If it makes you feel any better, I still haven't even sent Papa's gift/card... I'm terrible.
3/08/2006 8:50 AM
cdoc said…
Thanks Mdoc! Bdoc, you can try to annoy me all you want, but it won't work. And even if it does, I would still want you here. If you sent the gift on time, I might even be disappointed because its not like you... and Dad wouldn't expect any different from you either.
3/08/2006 11:16 AM
cdoc said…
I should have named my blog "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to"... right Putley?!?!
3/08/2006 11:17 AM
teacherwoman said…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CDOC....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Miss you tons! I also miss the watergate cake..mmm...
3/08/2006 8:58 PM
jm said…
Cdoc, you're aging well - as Dar Williams says - and all of this, it's leading you where you're supposed to go. Happy Birthday!
3/08/2006 9:56 PM
Girl of Approval said…
Happy Birthday!

I am sorry it wasn't a great day. I agree with you in that I was none too excited about being 25 either. It just seems like I should be doing something more important, something bigger with my life than I am. I got you a card, but I am always late in sending things.
3/11/2006 11:25 PM
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