Artemis

When I was five years old I saw my first whale. It was a Beluga Whale at the Minnesota Zoo. I can barely remember it, but I do remember staring at this creature that I found so intriguing and beautiful. My Mom told me that it was then that I declared to her that one day I would work with whales. I never lost interest. They remain my favorite animal today. I remember in fourth grade having to do a research project on an animal and I did it on killer whales. In fifth grade I discovered what a marine biologist was and decided that I was going to be one when I grew up. I didn't give up on that dream until I was a freshman in college and realized that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pass Biology. In sixth grade I did another report on whales. That year I also had to write a debate and read it in front of my class, I did it on saving the whales. It was also in sixth grade that I got into the only physical (yet brief) fight I have ever been in to this day, when a boy kept sayin...

This is my sister and her FIANCE! Yep, that's right, they got engaged on Thursday, May 25, 2006. I think she really got it right this time around, she found a keeper (as my Dad would say). CONGRATULATIONS!

Nine months ago Hurricane Katrina hit. Nine months ago there was devastation. Nine months ago New Orleans and surrounding areas were destroyed. Nine months ago. Does anyone even remember what happened? Does anyone even care? Looking at the video made 2 weeks ago, it doesn't look like it. Today Ellen DeGeneres dedicated her whole show to the aftermath. She went their 2 weeks ago and walked through neighborhoods and talked to the people still there. It looked like it happened yesterday. It looks like nothing has been done. This is America. We are supposed to be the most powerful country in the world. We can go to other countries and help them when they are in need. We can go to a war and oust a tyranical leader and help them build a new country and leadership. But here, in our own country, on our own soil, there is still devestaiton after nine months. The war aside, immigration and even global warming aside (and that takes a lot for me to say), these are people . These are our peop...

... I will by Friday. I just found out some bad news. The grandparents are coming tomorrow. THE grandparents. The ones I can't stand. The mean grandfather that made me cry over Thanksgiving in Florida and the grandmother that won a gold medal for being overbearing at Christmas, driving me to insanity. I knew they were coming for the weekend, but I thought I would be gone by the time they got here. They will be here with me all day for 3 days. Just me, the kids and them. This is the grandparents that think I work 24/7, the ones that ask me to run errands for the them, the ones that expect me to do whatever they say. And also the ones that love me, so it makes it even harder to say no. You may think, "they are just grandparents, how bad can they be?" If you only knew. I knew this week would seem long because of the anticipation, but now it will last forever. Send me all your strenght, I am going to need it.

8:15 am: bang, bang, bang, silence, crash, scream. Feet stomping up the stairs right outside my head. Toys being dumped on the floor. A screaming baby. I love the mother I work for, she is nice and great most of the time, but it is this morning that reminds me that she, too, just like the father, has no respect for me at all. I am sure S wanted to come up to the playroom right next to my room and, she said yes. I am sure she didn't even hesitate to bring up S and Baby S2. There are so many things wrong with this, I am pissed off right now. For one thing, it is early in the morning. On a Sunday. One of my only 2 days off every week. I don't always sleep in late, but sometimes I like to and sometimes I need to. This was a need to morning. I slept so much on Friday night, no matter what I tried last night, I could not get to sleep. I fell sleep sometime before 3 am (I missed the end of the design show I was watching, so I know it was around then). And the mother knows it is not un...

Six days until I get a week off of work, I can't wait! The mother I work for is taking the kids to Florida for a week. She gave me the option of going with or taking the week off. Most people I tell say that I am crazy for not going with. I can see their point, an all expense paid trip to Florida and a week of being paid for minimal to no work, sounds like a great deal. I weighed my options, I could be sitting on the beach all day, watching the ocean, unlimited photographic opportunities or a week of no kids. As you can see, I made the right choice. I don't have to hear a single cry or bratty remark for 8 1/2 days. No lying, time outs, screaming, spit up, poopy diapers. No hearing the parents complain about how much the baby wakes up in the middle of the night even though they are at fault for feeding her each time. No hearing them complain how S is picking on Baby S, is being bratty and not listening when they are at fault for not disciplining. If I went with, sure it would be...

It feels like this weekend has gone on forever, which is great! That is possibly because I haven't jam-packed it with things to do for a change, so I feel relaxed. I always feel like there are a million things I need to do each weekend since during the week I get only about 2 hours a day of awake time to myself. But really, what is so important that needs to be done? My goal last weekend was to go through the stuff under my bed and clean off my bookshelf that has become a mess. At the end of the weekend, I didn't accomplish either and I was mad at myself for not getting it done. This weekend, I realized how dumb I am being about this. Why do I need to get these things done? I have no deadline, I have no time frame, I don't have a life, so I have all the time in the world. I think I make these stupid deadlines for myself so I feel like I accomplished something or so I feel like I have control of my own life. This weekend I put an end to that. Screw it. I relaxed. My schedule...

This entry is updates. First, I did it! I ran yesterday for 30 straight minutes! I said in a previous blog that running that long was my goal for this week and yesterday was the first and possibly only day I will run this week, so I knew if I wanted to accomplish my goal, I had to do it (it rained Monday and Tuesday and is supposed to rain today through Monday). It was torturous for the first 20 minutes, but then I hit a point of it being easy and could have kept going longer than 30 minutes, but I knew I was going to be sore today, so I didn't push it. On the treadmill, I was consistently running 10 minute miles, so I ran about 3 miles yesterday (or a little less with hills slowing me down). Second, I think I found the answer to my tv problem, at least for the weekend anyway, in case you were all worried:). There is a Gilmore Girls Marathon on Sunday on ABC Family, so I can spend that rainy day watching and relaxing, it will be great. Third, keeping you posted on the haps with the...

... all my shows are ending. What I am going to do now, get a life? Because that has worked so well for me these past 6 months. I wrote in a previous blog about how the people in my television shows are my friends and now they are leaving me for the summer. Tonight Gilmore Girls had its finale and I found myself crying at the end. Were they tears because of what happened? Or tears because I have to go 4 months without the show? How pathetic do I sound? But when you have nothing but your computer and television to feel connections to other humans, and the shows you love end, whether it is temporary or permanent (as it may be with most shows on the WB), it is sad. Only 4 shows left, then they, too, will leave me by the end of the month, and I will be lonely again at night. Sorry, I need a moment to hug my television...

Since I started to exercise, I am constantly trying to think of when I can stop. Like if I make it to x day or x month, I can be done. No more running. No more Pilates. No more weight lifting. No more gym (I hate gyms). But then the thought goes through my mind, "Damn, I have to do this everyday , there is no ending date." My intentions for exercising are not to lose weight, although that is an added benefit, but I am already within 4 pounds of my goal, with my goal being to be in the healthy weight range for my height. My intentions are to be healthy. I want to feel better and have more energy, I want to know I am lowering my chances of getting countless diseases and common illnesses, I want to be able to one day run around with my kids without feeling winded and also be able to set a good example. Those are my intentions. But that doesn't make it any easier, when everyday day I think to myself, "I have to exercise again today. For the rest of my life."

After filling up the Jeep Cherokee I unfortunately drive, I realized it was time to talk about gas prices. I paid $3.19 for unleaded, in total costing $53. I haven't complained yet, because, well, I don't really pay for my gas. At the most, I pay for half of it, but never for a full tank. But that doesn't stop the sticker shock I have whenever I see how much it costs to fill up the Jeep. Not as bad as the shock the person next to me had after paying $86 for filling up their Suburban (she kept repeating the total out loud to herself). With these gas prices, I wish, more than ever, that I could afford a Hybrid. Yes, they cost more to buy then regular cars, but tax credits are given. And don't forget that they get 30-60 mpg and are running about half the time on electricity, which means a person is using less gas. And at each fill, people are paying up to a 1/3 less. So even if you aren't an environmentalist like me, the lower costs in the long run is reason enough to ...

I am not a morning person. Don't get me wrong, I am able to get up early each morning, my job requires me to be ready to go every weekday morning at 6:30 am. I am able to function, talk and do what needs to be done. Even on the weekends, when I have luxury of sleeping in, I can't sleep later than 7:30-8:30 am on most occasions, even if I was up late the night before. I may be able to get up early, but I certainly don't have any energy. Regardless of that, I decided to go for a run this morning. This is only the second time I have actually exercised in the morning since I started seriously working out in February. Last time was when my sister was here and I barely ran at all for the 30 minutes I was on the treadmill. Today I made my hardest effort to run. I had to force myself to run for 5 minutes straight, which felt like torture. I couldn't do it and I ended up only running for 7 out of the 42 minutes I was out. Before this, I had worked myself up to running for 15-25...

Yes, I had a bad day yesterday. And last week. And the week before that. And, in fact, for most days since I have been here. But I am still optimistic that this will be a good month. Why? Because Susan Miller says so. No, I am not one of those fanatic people that believes every word my horoscope says. But I do believe it to an extent and I do believe in the power of positive thinking. And if she says I am going to have a great month, I am going to believe it, because frankly, what do I have to lose? I can continue to think everyday will suck, or I can choose to believe her horoscope and I think we all know what the best choice is here. She says that this month will be, in her words, an extraordinary-for-Pisces month. She says that I will be extremely creative this month and will be able to pursue my dream job without much effort (I did get a call yesterday about a being a photographer's assistant for the summer without so much as lifting a finger). She said my finances will all fa...

The morning started off okay. The afternoon wasn't terrible. It was the evening that turned it into a bad day. I locked us out of the house. Again. That is right, I did it once before when my sister was here visiting. But this time was worse. Let me set things up so you can understand why it was worse. I didn't get much sleep this weekend, was out late in NYC 2 nights ago and couldn't sleep last night. So I was not all that chipper today. Baby S is sick, I don't mean just a runny nose sick, I mean go to the doctor sick. She has been fussy all day, not eating and not sleeping because she is in pain. I decided she needed to go to the doctor because I knew the parents wouldn't come to that conclusion. I called the mother and told her I thought she needed to go because she had a terrible cough. She set up the appointment for after we picked up big sister S from school. I get all the things together and set out. We pick up S from school and go have some ice cream because...