F

FRIDAY

I know, this seems like such an obvious choice for F. I tried to be more creative, but this Friday really couldn't come quickly enough or be more needed. I don't know why either because this was only a 4 day work week. I think I was expecting my 4 day weekend away in California to be more relaxing than it was and that I would think about work less than I did. I thought I would come back refreshed and ready to get back into my life. But I wasn't. I felt like I could have used 10 more days off. Not just from work, away from everything. And not away from the people in my life, that's not what I mean, but I just need more time away.

I live by the schedule on my cell phone calendar, it dictates everything I do. If I shut off my phone for 2 seconds, I may miss someone needing to schedule something. When my friends ask me to do something or go with them somewhere for a weekend or to come visit them somewhere, I have to check my schedule and "squeeze" them in sometimes months in advance. I don't feel like I even have time to go for a haircut, to the dentist or the doctor. I just always feel like my life is busy and scheduled with no time for relaxation or spontaneity.

It isn't always at the fault of my busy calendar, sometimes it's just what's in my mind that makes me feel busy. I'm constantly thinking about what I need to schedule, who to call, what to arrange, how to squeeze this in. I can't ever shut it off, even while on vacation! This weekend isn't really all that different either, but I needed it to be the weekend so I can somehow make some downtime for myself. Maybe someday I can turn off my phone, erase my schedule, and live in the moment... someday in the far future I'm sure. But until then, this Friday will help, if only a little.

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