Almost there

Six more sleeps. It is crazy how fast it got here. I am feeling so many things right now. Mostly excitment, I can't wait to live with my sister, see my family and friends. But I am also feeling sadness, I have already shed a few tears due to leaving the girls. And there is the jealousy. The new nanny is here. And I am trying not to be jealous because this is what I want and I know I am doing what I want, but it is still hard knowing that she is the new me. She is very nice and sweet. But you can tell she is completely overwhelmed. I talked to her for about a half hour and I think I told her too much info already. I didn't intend to, but I asked her questions and she gave short answers. And then there was silence, which made me uncomfortable, so I kept talking. I apologized for saying so much. Part of me wants to tell her everything that is important so she can handle this job better than I could. Part of me thinks she just needs to figure it out on her own. I need to find the right balance between the two. She already told me she is scared that she is going to be really homesick. I think she already is. She asked how long it took me to get used to this job. I didn't tell her I am still not used to it. I know the routine, but it hasn't gotten any easier or any better for me. The only way it has is my comfort level, but otherwise it hasn't. I feel bad for her. I know what she is feeling and going through right now and I hated that feeling. This week will be trying. I still have so much to do. And so much to teach her. And I have to say goodbye. But I am ready.

Comments

teacherwoman said…
You sure are ready, cdoc. You're just concerned about how things are going to be when you leave...there's nothing wrong with that. That is part of who you are! Enjoy it while it lasts....which is easier said than done, I know. But if it makes you feel any better, we all will be so excited to have you back here closer to your family and friends!! I am going to visit you for sure!! If you let me!
11/12/2006 1:51 PM
cdoc said…
No, you can't visit me ever:). Of course you can. And I am going to try to make a visit up to GFK soon.
11/12/2006 6:43 PM
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