Artemis

It has been awhile since I posted a real entry. Not for lack of subject, but because I have too much to say. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, a lot of things I am feeling. I am getting myself ready (mentally, not so much physically yet) to make another change in my life. I have always thought I was one that doesn't like change, but evidence seems to prove otherwise. Since graduating from college in December 2004, I am about to make my 5th move to my 4th location. And moving isn't the only change, there was the job back home that I started and quit in a short time, photography school in Montana, and being a nanny in Connecticut. All in a month shy of 2 years. So apparently I like change. But this move will be the last one I will make in awhile. I am getting anxious to leave. There are so many things I am looking forward to when I leave here, and not just seeing my family and friends (although that is the big one). I have been making a mental list of all the ...

I love this. It brought tears to my eyes. Check it out.

He started the National Parks system and he says things like this? What's not to love. "Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country." -- President Theodore Roosevelt

I know that jm did this on her blog, so I will utilize mine for help on this matter also. My new license plate number is 891-UTM. I need a mnemonic device to help me remember it, any suggestions?

They hired a new nanny. I talked to her on the phone and I like her. I got a good gut feeling about her. She is from Michigan. She is a year younger than me and doesn't have as much experience as I did going into this. She asked me all the right questions. Not just about what work was like, but what it was like living in this area. She asked what there is to do on weekends and if it was hard meeting people. She seems a lot like me. I told her that I didn't meet a lot of people, but I could have tried harder. She said she isn't very outgoing and will probably be a lot like me. She is interested in photography. She has always wanted to live near New York City. She is taking time off of school because she isn't sure of what she wants to do, something I should have done. I like her already and I have only talked to her once and seen pictures, but I haven't met her. So this is all good. I am glad they found someone, I was beginning to think they never would. Regardless, ...

There are a few stories in the news I have to comment on. FIRST there is the depressing news about the amount of Iraqis that have been killed during the US' occupation in Iraq. At the beginning of this war, Bush was trying to justify why we were there by saying that Saddam killed over 300,000 people in the matter of 24 years. Great way to pull at our heartstrings and almost makes you want to sympathize with his reasons (except not really). Then what justifies our government killing between 400,000-800,000 Iraqis (both civilians and rebels/fighters) in three years? Of course, they deny it. But who are you willing to believe, Bush's administration that doesn't want us to know the truth because it makes them look bad, or some scientists that use scientific studies and educated estimates to come up with the number previously stated? I will go with the scientists. When will Bush finally realize we are doing far more harm than good and get the hell out of Iraq? SECOND , an elem...

One month from today will be my last day of work as a nanny in Connecticut. Keep checking back for updates on my job hunt, the new nanny to replace me, my road trip plans and the things I do before I leave. And if you know me personally, I will be sending my new contact info in a couple weeks. These next 4 1/2 weeks will go by fast, and I have so much to do. Which is why I am writing a pointless entry.

This morning L brought the kids up to the playroom again. I didn't mind because I was awake and they came up while I was in the shower. But they turned the heat on up on the third floor (each floor has its own control). I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, it is only highs in the 50s and lows in the 30s. But I like this weather, when you don't need the air or the heat on. At night I crack my windows and it gets all cold in my room, so I can cozy up under two blankets, a sheet and the down comforter and I am perfect. I sleep so much better that way. And yes, I can turn the heat off when they go back downstairs. I am always hot when I get out of the shower, and where I get dressed in my room, the vent blows right on me (it blows on me when I sleep too) and the vent is stuck in the open position, so I can't close it. So I closed the other vent and the bathroom vent and opened my windows more so I wouldn't croak from the heat. But I was still pissed. Not at them, ...

Baby S is sick. S is sick. The mother, L, is sick. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I have been taking Airborne for the past two days. I have been trying my best to wash my hands as much as I can, but it's impossible to stay away from the germs. It isn't like working with older kids, where you can make them wash their hands everytime they cough or sneeze. I am working with a baby who has her hands in her mouth all day. When I feed her a meal, she tries to put food in my mouth and if I don't let her, she gets upset, so I am doing my best to prevent it. And I can't help but giving her kisses because she is so damn cute. And of course, there is the living with the kids thing, that doesn't make it easier either. I had covinced myself that I wasn't going to get sick, but that was before L and I took Baby S to the doctor for her 1 year appointment. The doctor asked if I was sick and I said no, then he looked at me and said, "You'll be sick nex...

I took a road trip today by myself to northeastern Connecticut. It was beautiful up there. The leaves are almost at peak, so the colors were amazing. I had forgotten that there are some mountains in that corner of the state. For a few hours, I forgot where I was and basked in my day. My intent was to take a lot of photos, but I didn't take all that many. And that's okay, because as John Mayer sings in 3x5 , sometimes you need to put the camera down and see the world with both your eyes. And even though my camera wasn't always to my eye, I was seeing the world in photographs. Every moment of the drive, I couldn't look somewhere without thinking what an amazing photograph it would be. And it felt great. I saw this state with both my eyes and remembered the beauty it has. I forgot about it and got a little cynical because I wasn't happy with where I was in my life. But I am back on track and can see the beauty everywhere. There were 3 moments that stand out in my day. ...

Adult daughter: " IQ puzzles. We can see if we have an IQ ." Mother: " I did, but I am sure I don't have one anymore."

Before I would put Sophia to bed at night, we had a long list of things we would do to help her be less scared about sleeping alone. Some were the usual, check for monsters, turn on lights, close doors, play music. Some were more unsual such as put guard stuffed animals by the doors to make sure nothing bad could come in and to turn the switch off behind her ears to stop her from thinking of things like monsters and ghosts and missing her mom and dad. I think I turned the switch off behind my ears too. Except my switches don't stop me from thinking, they stop me from caring. Since the parents came back, I have stopped caring about what they do with or for their kids. I am not sure why or how this happened, it just has. Maybe it was that I realized why they are the way they are, as I wrote about in my previous entry. Or maybe it was because I relinquished all care of the kids to them when they returned and some of the care may have gone with it. I don't know what it is and I don...

As much as I criticize the parents (L & P) that I work for, I know they love their children. And they aren't perfect. I know I won't be a perfect mother, nor do I know any perfect parents. We are human, we all make mistakes. But from this job, I mostly learned all the things I won't do when I have my own kids. I am sure sometimes I will do things wrong, I will even do some of the things I swear I would never do, but there is one thing I will try my hardest to never be and that is a lazy parent. I have concluded that that is what L & P are, lazy parents. They have good intentions, but they cave when things get too hard to deal with. They work long hours, 11 hours a day to be exact. By the time they get home, they are so exhausted that the last thing they want to deal with is whiny kids. They are excited to see them, but aren't ready for the hard things. I was these children's parent or co-parent (when grandmother was here) for 2 weeks. I learned how difficult...

I called my Mom to tell her that the parents are back and that I am responsibility-free in the evenings and weekends again. She didn't answer, but returned my phone call soon after. I told her my news, and she shared with me that she was about to head into the new Target. We are a family of Target-lovers, what's not to love? As she walked in, she said "it's huge." I tried talking to her, but could tell that she was distracted. She started to ask me something, "Did you... you should see the card section, it is like the one in Grand Forks." I, again, tried to change the subject back to what I was talking about. I finally let her go because she needed to finish shopping in there before returning home to watch Lost, throwing in "it has a Starbucks" before we said our goodbyes. A few minutes later my phone rings. It is my Mom again, she called to say "You should see all the food they have. They have a lot of organic food, organic oatmeal and or...

I hate being a mother. When I have my own kids, I am sure I won't hate it and I am actually still looking forward to being one someday. Suprisingly, S is fine, she is not bothering me. It is the little one, the 1 year old (her birthday was last Wednesday). I used to love kids this age, but that was when I wasn't living with one and being with one 24/7. Even when the parents get back in 2 days (THANK GOD!), I still don't think I will enjoy her. I am trying to, I really am. I love that she says words now, such as my name, quack, teddy, etc. I love that she plays peek-a-boo by covering her eyes with her own hands. I love that she is trying to blow kisses. What I hate is that she now wants to be held ALL THE TIME. She grabs onto my legs, looks up at me and whines. That's right, she is whining. I hate whining. Then there are the temper tantrums she is already throwing, she arches her back when you try to pick her up or falls on the floor screaming and kicking. Then there is ...