New nanny

They hired a new nanny. I talked to her on the phone and I like her. I got a good gut feeling about her. She is from Michigan. She is a year younger than me and doesn't have as much experience as I did going into this. She asked me all the right questions. Not just about what work was like, but what it was like living in this area. She asked what there is to do on weekends and if it was hard meeting people. She seems a lot like me. I told her that I didn't meet a lot of people, but I could have tried harder. She said she isn't very outgoing and will probably be a lot like me. She is interested in photography. She has always wanted to live near New York City. She is taking time off of school because she isn't sure of what she wants to do, something I should have done. I like her already and I have only talked to her once and seen pictures, but I haven't met her. So this is all good. I am glad they found someone, I was beginning to think they never would. Regardless, I would have still left on the same date, but it makes me feel much better that they have someone. They were using every excuse possible as to why they didn't like someone. Even with this new nanny, they thought that she wasn't interested anymore because they hadn't heard from her in less than 24 hours and because one of the references said she only had 1 brother when the other 2 and the nanny herself said she had 3, so they were skeptical and thought she was lying. I am flattered that they like me so much and that they said it was harder to find someone because I set the bar so high, as well as their friends, family and neighbors telling me constantly they don't know what they will do without me and they better hope to find someone as good as me. But I can only hear it so often before I want them to shut up because I feel like they are just trying to make me feel guilty. So when they said they found someone, it was a relief. And I am trying really hard not to be jealous about this. I want to leave, it is my choice to leave. But I keep thinking about how this new nanny will be the one to be there for all the things I will miss, like when S can read longer books all by herself. And when Baby S starts talking in sentences. She will be taking over my spot, my job, my girls. So I am trying not to be jealous about that. Because I like her and it isn't her fault. They aren't my kids, and I have to face the fact that I will miss out on almost everything for the rest of their lives. And that is how it works. I know this is a normal feeling, I went through this when I left my job for the YMCA. I was jealous of the other workers because they would get to be with the kids that I saw most days for 3 1/2 years. And I got over that and I still miss that job and those kids. And I am sure nothing will be different in this situation, I will get over it and I will miss the girls, but I will better myself for leaving. And more than feeling jealous, I feel relief and elated.