Artemis

I think if this is what my new year has in store for me: It will be a wonderful year.

I didn't do as well as I had hoped with this blogging challenge. But I have posted more this year than I have the last 4 years, so I will call it a success. And I plan on next year being even better. I've never been big on New Year's resolutions. Seems ridiculous that you decide at the beginning of the year to do some things that you couldn't follow through with on previous years. Well, I guess this year I have a resolution. Or more so, resolutions, plural. Or maybe they are more goals than resolutions. Maybe that is the same thing. I really don't know. Some are big things, some are little things. But all things, I think, will make me a better person. Here's my list: 1. Make one close friend in Helena. One that I can call up to go for a glass of wine when it's been a bad day or to go get coffee on a weekend morning. I know this won't be easy, I'll have to put myself out there. I am reading a book that may help me with this task, MWF Seeking BFF . 2. ...

It looks like I'll be getting exactly what I want for Christmas, which is to hang out with both of my sweet nephews at the SAME TIME! That's all an auntie could really wish for. Merry Christmas to all.

Periodically, I stop by Kmart. They often have cute, cheap clothes. Who knew, right? Yesterday I walked in and in the entrance is a giving tree for the Salvation Army. I have read a lot of controversy about SA and their homophobic ways, so I have been avoiding the bell ringers a little more than usual, even though I know all the good they also do. But it was hard to miss this tree. The gifts for children were supposed to be picked up no later than Dec. 14th. Yet, there were easily 30+ names left on the tree. It broke my heart. All these children are going to get nothing for Christmas. I stood at the tree reading all the things the children wanted and needed. I called my Mom and told her of all the children left on the tree. And as I talked her into joining my crusade, people overheard me as walking by and soon there were 5 or so people looking at the tree with me. They all pulled off a child from the tree, which was awesome. I pulled off 6. I picked 3 boys, ages 6 months, 2 years and 1...

I'm so excited for Jessie, Dave and Sam to come in one week. I'm over working and over everything else, I'm just ready for it to be my break and for Christmas to be here. I want to hang out with my nephews all day and eat cookies and candy and play games with the fam and do a whole lot of fun stuff and a whole lot of nothing for 4 days. Which means that, just like today, the next week is going to drag on and on and on.

I am not doing so well with the blogging challenge the past week. Part of the problem was that I was also trying to challenge myself not to write about the kiddos everyday. But screw it. I spend 45+ hours a week with kids that are not my own, so sometimes writing about it is the only way to keep me sane! So, to get back in to the swing of this, here is a list of my favorite kiddo quotes of the past few days: Dylan: Cassie, you brush those teeth so nice and bright! Bennett: Parker don't have a penis. What does she have? Parker (while sitting in a time out): All done crying. Cassie: I know, but you are still in a time out for hitting Dylan. Dylan: She won't do it again, Cassie. No, she won't. She won't. Bennett: You're funny. Cassie: You're funny. B: No, I funny. C: Bennett's funny. B: No, I FUNNY! C: Bennett's funny. B: NO, NO, NO, NO I FUNNY!

I have a pimple on my cheek that is so large that every time I look down, I can see it. It's so big that I feel like it should have it's own name, like Javier or Jorge. It kinds of bothers me, though, that the first names that pop into my head to name something grotesque are foreign names. But all the "non" foreign names that popped into my head for naming a pimple, such as George or Frank, are people that I know or know of, and maybe it is more offensive that I associate someone with a pimple. Plus, this pimple seems like it's going to stick around for awhile, so a friendly name seems more appropriate, like Javier or Jorge. Hmm. Such a tough decision. Maybe I should figure out how to get rid of this mother so I don't have to name it at all. Geez, now I'm comparing it to a mother. This has got to stop.

Put a girl in a tutu: And all the boys swoon.

So far, this is how my day has played out. Had trouble getting out of my warm bed, so I finally got out a half hour later than usual. I forgot to get a towel before getting in the shower, so had to get one while I was dripping wet. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had trouble getting up this morning because the first kid didn't show up until 8:30 and at least one is usually here by 8. The kiddos have been helping me (mostly watching me) hang Christmas decorations (aka "decododations" as Greysen calls it) while listening to Christmas music. Turns out the Christmas spirit has hit us all. Bennett kept reminding me, "Be careful, Cassie! Don't fall, Cassie!" as I stood on a stool. Very helpful. And that's my day thus far. Exciting stuff.

B: Don't touch my finger. Me: Why? B: I have an owie on there. Me: Can I see? B: It's on my arm. Under my sleeve. Me: How did you get an owie on your arm? B: I throw a toy. It hit my arm. Me: That's why we don't throw toys. B: Yeah. I hit my head. Like this. On the floor. Me: When you throw a fit, you hit your head, don't you? B: Yeah. Baby cries. Like this, (rubbing eyes) "Wah! Wah!" Me: Do you cry like that? B: No, baby cries like that. Me: What baby? B: When baby is mad. Me: What baby? B: I have a baby. At home. Me: It's at home? B: Yeah. Another 2 year old interjects: P: No, I have a baby at home. B (angrily): No, I have a baby at home! P: My mama. B (angrily): No, no, no, no, my mama! And so are the conversations of my day.

Almost every Thursday night for the past 3 years, I have taken care of a sweet little girl. But really, most of the time it's like spending time with a friend. She is such a little adult, always has been. When she was only 5, I would go over there after a day of taking care of kids and we would sit down, have dinner and just talk. She didn't expect to be constantly entertained as most kids that age do. She just wanted to spend time with me. And I wanted, and still want, to spend time with her. However, the older she gets, the more she reminds that she is just a child. Tonight, she whined, cried and threw fits just like every child I've seen. But unlike every other child, she actually has good reason. She has gone through more than most kids her age should ever have to deal with. She has acute pancreatitis . It's a disease that I don't really understand. I try, and by now I should understand it, but I don't really. I mean, I understand the definition and what isn...

I could back track over my long weekend to catch up because I'm sure each day had stories to tell. But I won't, that's too much work. But I will go back to yesterday with a few of my favorite quotes from the kiddos: Greysen walked in the door and let me hold him for a moment (which he never lets me do, there are toys to be played with) and he said, "Cassie's back!" Sweet boy. Bennett sat down in his time out spot and said time out. I asked, "Why are you putting yourself in a time out?" He responded, "I keep throwing toys." Parker had finished eating applesauce at snack and I asked if she wanted some cookies (what I call animal crackers) or raisins next and she said raisins. I doubted this answer and asked her, "Are you sure you want raisins? Or do you want cookies?" She said raisins again. As I was pouring them on her tray, she said, "I don't want these."

This morning, right in front of my parents house, they were finishing up some road repairs. Which meant BEEEG trucks. So Greysen was in heaven. And who am I kidding, to him they aren't just BEEEG trucks anymore, he was watching an "excavator with backhoe," a "dump truck," and a "ment truck" (cement truck). It amazes me what this kid can say now, he just turned 20 months yesterday. He sat on the stool in complete awe for well over a half hour, only getting up to get his elephant, telling me, "Elephant see it too!" He later added in the lion and green car, also saying, "Lion see it too! Green car see it too!" And he made sure all of their eyes were facing the window so they could "see" the machines. Once they finally left, Greysen got down, sat the elephant, lion and green car on the floor, bent down, looked at them and said, "I read books. I play with toys." Then he walked away. I'm pretty sure he was letting...

* I wrote this yesterday, but forgot to publish it when I went on a search for a photo, oops. When nap time hits at my apartment, I lay the kiddos down, but don't usually get a chance to sit down and relax until a half hour or so before nap time is typically over. I have a ton of dishes to do, then I eat lunch, often still standing because I'm doing other things at the same time, then I clean a bit, my apartment or the building's common area (for rent reduction, sweet deal). Sometimes I get to sit and Skype with Sam (and Jessie obviously, Sam can't turn on the computer... yet), which I love. But I never quite feel relaxed by the time one of the kiddos wake up. But nap time hits at my parents' house, dishes are in the dishwasher, someone has made me lunch and there is no cleaning to do. And dare I say, I'm kind of bored after a couple hours of nothing to do. I know next week I will be wishing for this quiet time, but today, I wish one of them would wake up.

Today went just as I had hoped. Tomorrow I am getting carpet on my stairs (because I am a klutz and fall down them often) and the kiddos and I can't be at my apartment. So I took this as an opportunity to change things up a bit. Lately, the kiddos have been kind of, well, awful. Not all the time, but at the end of the day, bad enough to the point where some days I wished for a speedy career change. The cold and snow has brought out some very restless kids. And when parents come to pick them up, they've been throwing some epic temper tantrums and they feed off of each other. And the worst part is that they even tell me they are going to break the rules when parents come ("We will run when mama comes"). I was at my wits end. So when I was told I couldn't be in my apartment tomorrow, I asked my parent's if we could be at their house for this 3 day work week (thanks Mom & Dad!). I was hoping the change of scenery would help all of us feel a little less restle...

We celebrated Thanksgiving today since my Mom and I are going to be driving to Bismarck on Thanksgiving Day. We went around the table to say what we are thankful for and I said family. But the two things I am really most thankful for: This guy: And this guy:

This morning I was shoveling the very large driveway of the house where I'm dogsitting. I was just finishing up the steps when I noticed this doe staring at me. After I took the photo, I looked to my left and there was also a buck staring at me. I was about to take a photo of him, but before I could, he started slowly walking towards me while still chewing whatever he was eating. Clearly he was telling me, "Back off, bitch." So I did. Since I still had a lot of shoveling to do, I tried to scare it off (while standing safely in the doorway), but finally the dog scared him off and I got back to shoveling.

Meant to write this yesterday. At snack time, the two remaining kiddos were eating mini animal crackers. Since they were small and all the same color, it was difficult to figure out what any of them were. One vaguely looked like a horse... or cow... or sheep. Not really sure. But the kiddos held up each shape (often the same one over and over) and had a conversation about what they were: B: "Neigh!" E: "Lion!" B: "Sheep! Duck!" E: "Zebra!" Zebra was my favorite since there is no way to actually tell if it was a zebra. Except for in E's imagination.

ZIP That's how many things I could think of to write about for the letter Z. And with that, I finally finished this after more than a year. Just in time to start a new challenge.

YEAR Where did the year go? I can't believe it's already October. I feel like I just started taking care of the kiddos at my apartment and that I just took photos of them in their Halloween costumes. I feel like it was just yesterday when I attended two of the kiddos 1st birthday parties, now they're about to turn 2! My best friend in Helena moved away almost a year ago. My grandma already passed a month ago, wasn't that just last week? Sam will be ONE in 3 short months! Last year at this time we were getting psyched for our trip to Sayulita, Mexico. Seriously, how is this year already almost over? And where am I with my life? Same place I was a year ago... nothing new accomplished, still single. Sigh... oh well, maybe next year.

XOXO Rest in peace Grandma. You are very loved and will be missed.

WAIT and WONDER It all started when I was 12 years old. That's when I got my period for the first time. Along with it came unbearable cramps. I was told that my sisters had bad cramps too, so I chalked it up to what a period was supposed to be like. It wasn't long before my dad would get a call once a month, every month, to come pick me up from school. When I was 16, I finally went to a doctor. He told me and my mom that he thought it was endometriosis . He put me on birth control pills to help regulate the symptoms. I remember going to a friend's birthday party and trying to explain to my guy friend that I wasn't on them because I was going to have sex, that it was medical. I was embarrassed, so I stopped taking them after a month. I endured the pain for the next 2 years with prescription pain killers since over-the-counter meds did nothing for me. When I was 18, I went back on birth control pills and left for college. And proceeded to try kind after kind after kind t...

VOLUNTEER Lately I've been thinking about volunteering somewhere. When I have free time during the evenings and weekends, I often end up sitting around doing nothing. Not that I have a lot of free time these days. Volunteering may mean less evening babysitting, which is okay. I think being a volunteer would be much more rewarding. However, I have been searching and it seems the options here aren't exactly what I've been hoping for. Most opportunities are for working at stores. I want to volunteer for a cause or work with people. I'll keep searching for the right fit, because I think this would really be good for me.

UMBRELLA Every spring/summer I think about how much I want an umbrella. Yet when it comes down to buying one, I never do. I look at them at the store and then I think how I've survived many rainy days without one. But then it rains again on a hot day and I think about how nice it would be to walk in the rain... and I wish had an umbrella all over again.

TRIPLETS (and TIE-DYE ) About once every couple weeks, when I am outside with any combination of three of these four kiddos, I get asked if they are triplets. Especially when they are all wearing their hats. So I bet if they were all in these shirts, even more people would think they were triplets.

SAMUEL QUINN It's amazing how this sweet guy has captured my heart even though he is two states away. I miss him all the time. There's not a moment that goes by that I don't wish I could watch him grow like I am able to do with Greysen . It really makes me cherish every second I have with my sweet nephews. He will be 6 months old tomorrow and I think that he's going to be as smart as his cousin. He already is an anti-sleep because there is just too much to see and learn. Watch out Mama T and Dada T! I can't wait until I can hold and play with him again, only 23 more sleeps. Not that I'm counting down the seconds until I see my sweet Samwise .

RIVER One of the most beautiful things in nature, constantly moving, changing every second. It brings such pleasure to people for fishing, boating, swimming, photography. It also can be the most devastating thing in nature. Ravaging, destroying, soaking a town that is doing all it can to stay in tact. My heart goes out to my home state, all those fighting terrible floods on a moment's notice. Remember that when the water recedes, the river will reclaim it's beauty. And we can thank it for proving that North Dakotans are strong, resilient and fighters. And as a people and as a community, after the water recedes, you too will reclaim your beauty.

QUEST I am on a mission, a quest really, to find a guy to date. I believe in the idea that it happens when it's supposed to happen, it happens when you're not looking or when you least expect it. I think those all can be true. But I also believe that sometimes you have to make the leap, take the steps towards finding someone, have some initiative if you want your life to change. Things don't always happen when you sit on your ass and do nothing. So I am now searching on two free online websites. I'm not willing to pay, it works for some, but seems strange to me... plus I can't afford it. I have used one of the free sites for years and found some good guys on there, so I trust it. But it just seemed like nothing was happening. So I signed up for a second site and suddenly both sites are having a lot of action for me (not that kind, get your head out of the gutter). I'm finding interesting guys to write to (I am writing to anyone of interest, the worst that happe...

PARKER Parker is the sweet 18 month old girl that took the place when my other sweet girl left. She's been with me about 9 months now. I love this little spitfire. She's sweet and loving and cuddly... when you're looking anyway. She's a sneaky one. Obviously I have to leave the children alone (in a very baby-proofed room) on occasion so I can go to the bathroom or grab a snack for myself or get their lunch ready. And miraculously things happen when I'm out of the room, like the kids' shoes are on the other side of the room, my books are on the floor, diapers are all over the place, a kid is crying. How do I know it's Parker? When she hears me coming, she runs to the other side of the room and stands innocently like "Who? Me?" Recently she likes to tattle on herself. I'll ask what happened and she'll say "No-no." I'll ask, "Did Parker do a no-no?" And she answers "Yea." Gotta love the honesty at least. Her...

OMBROPHOBIA I was looking at a list of O words online. That may be cheating, but I really could not think of anything for O. This word seemed appropriate for something that has been in my thoughts a lot lately. Ombrophobia: the fear of rain. I think that is a fear many in my hometown are feeling. It saddens me that so many are losing their homes to the raising water. I really do wish I was there to help with this battle, help sandbag night and day as so many are. This statistic I read was mind-boggling to me: to fight the flood of the Red River in the spring, they used 500,000 sand bags. To fight the flood of the Missouri in Bismarck, they need an estimated 8,000,000 sand bags. Really gives an idea of how bad it really is. And all the rain we are having here in MT and now suddenly really warm temps are only going to make things worse downstream. I think if I lived in Bismarck right now I would definitely be an obrophobic.

NO way! I'm back to blogging! I can hardly believe it either. And I'm going to finish the blogging challenge that's almost a year in the making. I finally have a computer (thanks Dave!). So it's about time I get back to this blog. It is a great stress relief. And when I have nothing important to say and no one really wants to listen, I can throw it out into the internet and at least feel like someone is listening. I'm happy to be back.